I’m 30… And here is where my life is right now

Well, it’s officially been three months since I turned 30 years old, two months since I moved to Florida, and one month since I decided to *finally* take on the challenge of improving my life in the next decade… or so.

Mainly, my goal with the Map Your 30s blog is to prove that turning this momentous decade doesn’t have to be the end of your journey. It doesn’t have to mean that you’re now an “adult” because someone says so. In fact, only YOU can decide that. And it definitely doesn’t mean that you have to have ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING figured out. In fact, it’s totally okay if you have some (or a lot!) of growing to do. I encourage it!

So, as I begin this journey… I wanted to start with a full update about where my life actually is in relation to these six important fields that I am tackling as part of my growth in the next year or 10 or so.

Relationships: Up until this point in my life, I’ve been mostly single. But now, beyond all odds, I’ve met the most incredible person I could have ever hoped to meet–and one amazing partner-in-crime for life. Although we’ve been together for just under two months, I know that this is it and I am INCREDIBLY happy. And trust me, this big change in my life came as a HUGE shock to me!

Career: As of tomorrow, I’m back to being a freelance editor at Brit+Co. I’ll be working part-time to handle their food content, and I can’t wait to get back to it. And I’ve started writing regularly again for MamasLatinas, where I’m handling food, health, beauty, entertainment and more. Plus, I’ve got big plans for other freelance pieces… AND A BOOK.

Home: Well, the biggest change here since turning 30 and today is that I am now a resident of Southwest Florida. This isn’t really where I thought I would be at this point in my life. In fact, I am mildly conflicted about it because, when I left this area for college in New York, I told myself I’d never come back and NYC is where I belong. The only problem? I’m not really sure I feel that way anymore. For the first time in my life, I’m flexible with where I want to live. And that’s okay.

Finances: Well, this is probably one of the areas that I need the MOST work on, to be honest. I’ve never been that good at finances and I’m currently not taking in any income. That is to say, I haven’t had a paycheck in a couple of months–but as you read above, that should very soon change! Once it does, I am going to start saving for a car and… stuff.

Health: Right now, I am actually doing Whole30 with my boyfriend. Before that, my health was mostly okay but I definitely wasn’t fully happy with where I was. Although I lost 100 pounds a few years ago and have been able to keep MOST of it off, I wanted to be at a smaller size. Now I’m actually okay with my size, but I wanted to go back to eating healthier. I had fallen off the wagon of eating 80/20 (80% healthy, 20% whatever), so now I’m taking MAJOR strides towards that with this new challenge.

Confidence: I had a really great therapist back in NYC, but to be honest I haven’t been focusing on this area all that much. The most I’ve been able to do is find a pretty good support group in the area, which I am planning to go to on Friday nights. However, I’ve done a few other confidence-boosting and general “for me and my mental health” things lately, and I’m planning to continue that.

All in all, I am in a pretty decent spot with most of the areas of my life–but there’s definitely a LOT that I want to improve on, too. I want to continue to nurture my new relationship, make time for writing my book, decorate my new home, start saving money for that car I want, finally finish Whole30 and continue to build my self-confidence.

Just because I’m 30 now doesn’t mean I have it all figured out, but I’m happy that I will be doing more to improve myself. One step at a time.

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My coming out story

I’m coming out!

Well, not really. The truth is that I have been “out” for a very long time. But my bisexuality isn’t really something I talk about all that often, and it’s not because I am ashamed (far from it) or anything like that, but simply because I just don’t have all that much to say about it at this point. It is part of who I am, in the same way that being Russian and Cuban or being a writer is integral to my personal sense of self.

Okay, I’m bi. Great! Whatever.

The only time I really talk about it is in personal conversations with friends, when you can likely find me ranting about the perception of bisexual people in the media (not pretty) or in online dating (no, couple on OKCupid, I do not want to join you).

But when a friend (and fellow writer) Amaris Castillo asked me to share my coming out story for Vivala.com, I jumped at the chance. It’s not necessarily a pretty story, but it’s not horrible either.

So, if you’re curious, here is what it was like for me to come out as bisexual to my parents back in 2003, when I was 17. Enjoy!

Oh, and my parents and I have a good relationship now. You know, in case you’re wondering.

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