How do you find motivation when your mind is freaking out?

I am having an extremely hard time doing anything this past week.

It’s not like I am lying in bed sick or depressed or feeling lazy or something like that. Nope. My problem today is my mind, and its utter inability to quiet the F down at the moment.

Here’s the scenario: I came home last week after my third trip in a month and quickly realized just how exhausted I felt. I couldn’t write anything last week, but I did do my regular editing and also spent some time just reading other writers’ works and focusing on my freelancing. Yes, I didn’t produce words, but I still felt like I did *something*.

I did some really good reading over the weekend and have even established a new morning routine that I am pretty proud of (so far). So, basically, this week was going better until last night, when I was reading something about the different ways that writers can make money (short ebooks, podcasting, seminars, consulting, etc) and started to have an absolute mind meltdown.

Here’s what it looked like: Oh! Okay, I can do all of these new other things. But wait, which ones do I want to do? Do I want to do consulting? I do like giving advice… But is this thing what I want to give advice on for the rest of my life? And what about books? I still haven’t been working on my memoir, but maybe I should do an ebook on this other similar but unrelated topic? Or wait, what if I get bored of writing about this thing just like I got bored of writing about that thing? How am I ever going to build a personal brand or author platform if I can’t find focus? OH GOD, what if I am an unfocused mess? How do I find motivation? What’s wrong with me that I have so many ideas and can’t seem to commit to one for more than a day or two? Am I ever going to finish anything? Am I ever going to be a success? Oh nooooooo… What if in 20 years, I am still here and doing the exact same thing that I am doing right now? It’s not like I don’t love what I am doing right now, I really do, but I want my career to *go somewhere*. How do I figure out where it should go? Or how I should help it get there? What do I do? What do I do? How do I get there? WHAT DO I DO?

This went on in silence for about an hour while Adam and I were watching the Cubs vs. Giants game, until I finally spoke up. It was probably another two hours of intermittent word vomit on my poor awesome, incredibly supportive boyfriend who listened but admitted at the end of the night that he was a bit overstimulated with all of my crap. (He didn’t say “crap”, that’s my word for what was going on.)

I also took some time to re-read my favorite career-ish book, StrengthsFinder2.0. I took the assessment four years ago and it’s still something I go back to constantly because I find it such an inspiring reminder of what I am naturally good at: futuristic (meaning that I am constantly looking to improve and grow or help others or the world do the same), communication (I’m a writer, duh!), competition (guilty, but in a good way?), input (because I love to collect things and information, and this section even recommends an “output” which to me means writing about the things I learn about) and woo (which stands for “winning others over” because, as they say, there are no strangers in the world, only friends I haven’t met yet).

Reading through all of that last night was not as comforting as usual, however, and I went to sleep with the same confusing thoughts running around in my head. What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?

I am still having that mind meltdown and trying to figure out where I want my career to go and how I want to get there.

I know the truth: That you can’t know the right path. That there actually is NO right path, especially not for a writer. There’s no guarantee that I’ll ever be famous (I wish!) or that I’ll even be regarded as someone halfway decent in my field. Sure, nobody can ever know that about anything that they do, but I am currently filled with this need to feel as if I am putting my best foot forward and doing everything that I can be to ensure my success.

And I’m okay with failing (I think). I know that I have failed in the past, and I can pick myself up and keep going. And I know that success may take much longer than I wish, and that it may not look like what I think it will look like. I also know that I may change my mind and want to go after something else later on, or that I can change my strategy at any point if I find that what I am doing isn’t quite working.

But currently, I am paralyzed in my writing efforts because I want some sort of direction, and I don’t know in which direction to go.

The funny thing is that I have no problem committing to a single person for the rest of my life. Cause, well, that was a pretty easy choice since he’s the best person I’ve ever met. But why is that SO MUCH HARDER in my career? Why can’t I commit to a writing project or idea or some sort of direction?

Instead, I’m sitting here and word vomiting some more and just at a loss of where to go. And I know that I’m not the only writer to suffer from this. I know that I’ll get over it, feel better and move on. I know that tomorrow or maybe the next day things will be back to normal and I’ll be feeling hopeful or accomplished or maybe even have some sort of idea about where I want to go and how I want to get there.

Then maybe in a week or a month or seven months, I might be back here again… With my brain feeling like it’s melting and freaking out and just no idea of what My Path is, even though I honestly don’t even believe that there is a single path for anyone. But I still want one, damnit!

Where’s my path? How do I find it? And in the meantime, how do I tell my brain to calm the F down because I need to actually do some work now?

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Why is it so difficult for us to accept generosity when we date?

We’ve all done this: Signed up for online dating and then spent the next few days or weeks or even months just swiping right on dozens of people. We chat, we flirt, we even go on dates sometimes.

The whole point of online dating is to find someone to date, right? But although I suspect many of us venturing into this world want true love, we rarely take a chance and open up to just one person. In the world of casually swiping right, it’s easier to say “sure, why not?” to ten people than to say “yes, definitely” up to just one special someone.

But without opening up, how can we truly know and accept the kind of love, kindness and generosity that we all deserve? In my latest article for, I explore why it’s just SO DARN DIFFICULT to accept generosity when dating, why it’s so much easier to allow bad behavior and why we all deserve mutual self-giving and vulnerability.

Check out my piece on The Difficulty of Accepting Generosity When We Date on today!

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Dose + OMGFacts: September 2016


Getting Back Together With My Ex Was The Best Decision I’ve Ever Made

Why It’s Anti-Feminist To Rejoice Over Brangelina’s Breakup

An Exhaustive List Of The Worst Relationship Advice You Should Ignore


In Defense Of Being Cheap AF

Stop Going To The Gym To Lose Weight

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MamasLatinas: September 2016

Food & Fiestas

10 Chicken recipes that you can make in 30 minutes or less

5 Guacamole recipes to celebrate Mexican Independence Day

14 Amazing desserts all made with coffee (RECIPES)

Life & Inspiration

10 Lies that are totally okay to tell your hubby

Healthy You

6 Surprising ways to lose weight while sleeping

7 Foods that burn more calories & help you lose weight (PHOTOS)

8 Super easy ways to do 10 mins of exercise without even feeling it


14 Spanish-language movies (with subtitles!) to watch on Netflix with your love

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Here’s the absolute best of the worst dating advice I’ve ever heard

I’m lucky to have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with (finally!), but before that… Well, I was a single and dating girl for many more years than I care to count. And while I can look back and appreciate the times I was single and the times I was coupled up, there’s one thing that I’ve never appreciated: bad dating advice.

The truth is that, whether you’re in a long-term relationship or are happily without a life partner, you’re bound to hear tons of advice from well-meaning strangers, acquaintances, coworkers, friends and family members. I’ve compiled some of that oh-so-horrible dating advice. While most of it applies to single folk, the #1 bad piece of advice is actually the worst piece of advice I’ve ever heard.

Click here to read the (sadly hysterical) article, An Exhaustive List Of The Worst Relationship Advice You Should Ignore on

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